Archive for July, 2011

Belonging

July 31, 2011

I remember next to nothing about this particular day.

I must have awoken at Liana’s.  I was thinking of walking to Veda Cafe, but I didn’t.  I walked to Mississippi to get my bike.  My sunglasses were in the office, and Matt wasn’t there to let me in.

I rode downtown, and passed Sarah Brewer.  She did not indicate she knew we’d met, and I made no noises.  I got new headphones downtown, but my iPod died the minute I started up “Crazy Feeling.”  I don’t remember where I ate lunch.

I rode to Mississippi and hung out while also setting up the show.  I remember sitting around with Silvio and Jonny and Sarah while Transformer played out.  We all ended up singing along.  Markus came and said he was a big fan of “Satellite Of Love.”  Even Michael came along mouthing the words to something.  Felt really like Home.

It was a free show with Paper/Upper/Cuts and Yeah Great Fine, with 1939 Ensemble in-between.  I saw them in; it was all a little loose.  I think Papi’s load-in was an hour earlier than I thought.  Kevin told me to take an empty keg back to Amnesia.  That was a nice walk.  I ran into Richard Shirk on the way back.  He said it makes sense that I’d move to New York, and characterized me as someone who “goes to New York, like, every six months.”

I settled with Papi then walked to Last Thursday on Alberta, with Sally Can’t Dance on en route.  It was big and exhausting.  I was people watching – some looked good and some didn’t.  I came across a Toucan Sam & The Fruit Loops set, but didn’t stay long.  One too many people there I didn’t care to see.

I said hi to Liana when I went to her house to retrieve my car.  She wanted me to return to sleep on her couch.  I drove to Mississippi and got the Christian Rock swag out of the closet in the downstairs bathroom.  I’d finally gotten the labels to ship them.  I drove them to FedEx on Broadway and got the receipts.

(not long after dropping them off, Kevin emailed me and the Christians saying he was pissed and that he had the boxes.  I’m still unclear on what happened…  ah well)

I didn’t return to Liana’s, I went and parked my car off I-5 and Skidmore, in a dead end where there happened to be nice garden behind some rose bushes.  I set up my blanket behind a bush and settled in for a nice slumber.

I ended up remembering more than I thought.

–for Thursday July 28th, 2011

Stumblers

July 31, 2011

I slept two hours on Steve’s couch.  His mom woke him up, saying their Ukrainian cleaners were coming and he had to vacate.  That was news to me!  I thought he was coming over to my house for breakfast, but he hugged me and said goodbye.

I drove to my house, filling up my car on the way with $40 of British Petroleum (so much for integrity).  There were breakfast burritos that made me feel gelatinous, but tasted good.  I said goodbye to my mom with the same melancholy feeling of looming death, and she went off to work.

I slept until noon or so, then gathered up what I needed to take back with me and drove through the afternoon.  We’re Better Off With The Plants and A Fresh Summer With And And And made up the soundtrack.  Around the three quarters mark, I accidentally cut a guy off, and he got revenge on me by cutting me off then slowing down.  I shrugged and changed lanes, and he pulled in front of me again.  I don’t remember how it ended; he just sped up really fast.  I guess accidents are sins too.

I got to Portland around 3:00, and had to work at 5:00.  I parked just off I-5.  I thought it was near Skidmore when actually it was near Alberta.  I should have paid closer attention.  I went to my bike right in front of the venue, safe and sound, and rode downtown.  I got new shoes at Payless on the company card.  The dude gave me a small discount because “they were for work.”

Got back safely and set up the show for The Tumblers, Vandella, and Melville.  Matt told me to really schmooze it with Tyler from Tumblers and Ryan from Melville.  I achieved this first and foremost with Ryan.

The presale was zero, but both Kevin and Matt were expecting a strong walk-up.  I believe that wasn’t the case when all was said and done.  I believe I didn’t work the box that night, but I may be wrong.  I can’t remember last time I didn’t work the box.  But I believe I didn’t because some drunk girl made acquaintances with me thinking I was someone else.

By the settle time, I was waiting for the musicians to finish schmoozing.  The drunk girl came and stuttered and slurred about giving me anything I wanted.  Something came about about how she was going to get me laid (I presume with her).  Being unclear about what the policy on such things is, and being clear on my usual outcome of this sort of drunk interaction, I skirted the advance.  I found that some girl appeared to be coming on strongly to Ryan as well.  Everyone wanted some.

I settled, and was planning on car sleeping, but Liana talked me into coming to her place.  I can’t remember how or what for.  We hung out late in Bar Bar with Sarah and Silvio and maybe Michael or Jonny (I think when we left, there was “Walk On The Wild Side” and “Holland, 1945” to my delight), then wen to my car, then to her house.  I didn’t want to drive, but I did.

"Take A Walk On The Wild Side" from somebody's flickr...

–for Wednesday July 27th, 2011

Seattle, no. 5

July 29, 2011

I could not sleep at all.  Though sometimes I think I actually might be asleep when I feel in the moment like I can’t – I can never remember the time going by once it’s already happened.  I went downstairs around 7:00 and had a talk with my mom about what ifs, like what if Portland over New York.  This particular day was about the biggest day of pondering this question, with serious concerns.

I ended up sleeping until 3:00, which was later than I would have liked.  My phone was dead again (I think) and when I charged it, I had some invites.  One to Matthew’s goodbye party, and one to Steve’s.  In the end, I went to Steve’s so that we could travel as one to Matthew’s party.

Steve was looking at old photos of his dad and going through some of his dad’s shit.  He was also going through some films for a film festival, judging if they’re worthy.  We ate and watched Hate Street, which is the most horrible movie ever made.  But then again, it’s so amateur that it’s not really worth hating.  Like trying to race a cripple: you oughtn’t feel good when you win.

We sat around with Steve’s mom and she talked about her business, which she seemed passionate about.  The conversation was laced with a lonely morbidity, given the lonely state of the house.  She gave me some pamphlets.

Steve and I drove to Max’s in his car.  We found it to be a house with many apartments.  We tried one that had the door open.  I called out and a man came around the corner in boxers and yelled, “Oh my God, I’m not wearing any pants!”  I apologized.  We found the right apartment, and it was filled with weed.  We didn’t stay too long.

We drove to Ye Olde Canterbury and had some drinks.  Steve had said he didn’t want to stay out late, but we ended up leaving at 1:30am.  Sophie and Jonah showed up and went.  Sophie mentioned my hair.  She also said we needed to talk, and she said she was coming down to Portland soon.  I guess we’ll see.

I was in the driver’s seat now, and I dropped off Everett and Matthew (big hugs, I’ll see him on the east coast).  Steve and I drove to his house way back in Shoreline.  He reckoned the QFC would be open, but it was not – nothing was.

We ate some shit and sat on his porch.  Steve called me rigid for declining the tree yet again.  It was a wandering kind of talk; I’d have preferred to have just sat there all night.  But we went in and watched bits of two more movies (Somewhere In-Between I think one was called, and Maya was the second).  Eventually the sleep came and we hit the couch.

–for Tuesday July 26th, 2011

Seattle, no. 4

July 29, 2011

My house was empty when I woke up.  I didn’t even know my dad was in Montana for a bike trip.  I charged my phone, which was dead.  I forgot I was supposed to have called Kyle the day before.  I tried to give him a ring; a brief game of phone tag ensued that resulted in no phone call.

Matthew got a hold of me and we made plans to meet at his house.  I told him about the possibility of getting Kyle’s job.  He was heading out for New York that Friday.  We did some errands – to an AT&T Store, where I found out my dad was needed to let me upgrade my phone.  We read in a coffee shop.

We were meeting Steve for dinner.  We tried Hillside Quickies and Pizza Pi, but found both were closed on Monday.  We settled on Mongolian Grill and I ate until I got sickly full and vowed never to return (which I won’t).  We walked around the UW campus.  The last time I walked it was a desperate, freezing wander in late December 2010.  This time was a humorous rumble about my severely lacking character and trying to figure out how to get Steve tree’d.

AJ answered the call, so we drove to his place in Pioneer Square downtown.  Everyone tree’d up and talked about what needed to be said.  We departed, though it’s possible we departed too soon.

We went to Matthew’s and had a very difficult time weeding out the perfect movie to watch.  We found The Basketball Diaries and tried to replicate the magic of The Beach, but it only put me to sleep.

Steve and I left, and I asked him about how many people hated me for my creamy actions of 2010.  He counted three, which I’m presently indifferent about.

I dropped him off at his car, and listened to the song “Hounds Of Love” has he followed me from 55th to 80th.  For some reason, I grew melancholy thinking about him and my mom and other people that could potentially die before I get to see them again.  I was driving in front of Steve and watched him turn off to go to the freeway, and a few moments later Kate Bush threw her shoes in the lake and the song ended, and it was all quiet.

Whole lotta melo-drama going on in the middle of Hell; and my mind.

–for Monday July 25th, 2011

Car Jam / Seattle, no. 3

July 28, 2011

I awoke in the morning to Hisboss’s alarm.  Sam silenced it and plopped back down and went to sleep.  “I can’t let you do that,” I said.  He told me he hit the snooze; it’d ring again.  Sure enough, it did and he awoke.  He asked me to drive him home, but I told him “no” with the conviction of a true friend.

Hisboss and I really awoke around 11:30.  We were making plans to leave when Max awoke.  Emily followed, and they convinced us to stick around for dinner.  Plans Hisboss spoke of about a birthday barbecue in Seattle now took second place.  Abby finally got up and we all went to Jam on Hawthorne, and while the food was unearthly good, the real cost was waiting a lifetime.  The company was fantastic though.

Hisboss and I gave Max a ride to his van and then hit the high trail.  It was the worst drive to Seattle I’ve ever undertaken.  We left at 3:00 and arrived around 8:00.  The traffic was God-awful, to the point of pissing me off.  Hisboss asked for us to pull over and take a leak, and and I pulled us over for gas.  It was hot and stupid and we had trouble knowing if we were going to Steve’s.  All frustrating and disappointing.

We finally got permission from Steve just before we hit town, so we traveled directly there.  A dinner was just ending and I helped myself to what was left.  We all went to Richmond beach and watched the sunset.  Then we traveled back to Steve’s and it was decided to drive Hisboss to Ballard for a drop off.  That was the last I saw of Hisboss.

Steve and I returned to his house.  It was his cousin Evan, him, and I.  He said he wanted to watch a movie and he wanted to laugh.  Somehow we found The Beach.  It sucked — and it hit the spot.  It was long, poorly acted, and failed to achieve its goals.  Easy to make fun of, which is all we really wanted.  I headed home afterwards, with few concrete plans for the following day.

–for Sunday July 24thth, 2011

Back Pain

July 26, 2011

When I awoke at Anna’s, I was also feeling a pain in my back.  It was an endless ordeal while Hisboss was around: my body was betraying me.  It could be said though that I was betraying my body by sleeping randomly insofar and without reliability insofar as location and comfort were concerned.

We didn’t even see Anna.  We left and went to the trunk of the car.  We rode to Nicholas and we ate Mezza.  Then we returned to the trunk of the car.  We rode to PDX Pop Now and saw a little of Lost Lander, making jokes about Christian Rock.  We left quickly and returned to the trunk, where Hisboss changed shirts.  Then we rode to the Shell station where I bought some sunscreen and took a shit in their bathroom, which was pretty alright.

We returned to PDX Pop for what I really wanted to see.  Loch Lomond, followed by Wild Ones, followed by Wizard Rifle.  I wanted Richie Young to soar with vocals.  He had a good falsetto, but usually never swept through his ranges.  He’d just stick to a falsetto or not.  Wild Ones were great, as usual.  Wizard Rifle’s set was superb.  I think they got the crowd: Max splashing Sam with water + the reaction of genuine surprise made the crowd erupt with laughter.  Max helping Sam screw his cymbal on right causing the crowd to applaud – all beautiful.

I rode to Mississippi after their set.  I was feeling some level of slight despair, but I couldn’t place it.  Matt sent me an unhappy text about the Christian Rock swag still laying around.  The scene was a little tense at the venue.  I was pretty content when Markus recommended I just sit by the stage and watch the gear.  It meant I could just relax and watch Writer, Guards, and Cults.  I didn’t feel too great about how none of Cults acknowledged my presence whatsoever.  The folks in Guards were nicer in that regard.

Fucking Narcissist!

I got Charles on the list and met him there.  After the show, we drove to PDX Pop to get Hisboss, Sam, and Max.  The communication was total bullshit, but we finally found them (Sam and Max stupendously drunk) and we drove the few blocks to my car.  The plan was to sleep at Sam’s, but Max was going to Abby & Emily’s. I figured it’d work out better if we could just sleep at Abby & Emily’s, Hisboss and I could hit the road easy, Sam could get to work easy, and no one would be any more the wiser.

I dropped Max near the place, and he slowly walked drunkenly down the sidewalk trying to find it.  I followed him in reverse for two blocks, almost running into a seven-foot-tall pile of dirt.  Eventually he got there, saw us in, and I laid on Sam who went to sleep.  Abby invited us to breakfast the next morning.  Eventually I got off of Sam and brushed my teeth.  I slept on the fold out bed, getting up to get Max a water when he vomited (he declined, already having a cup).

I didn’t sleep well.  There some some kind of despair really brewing in me.  And my back was killing me.  I moved to the floor at some point in the night.

–for Saturday July 23rd, 2011

Everybody Can’t Win

July 26, 2011

We awoke in Anna’s loft.  The pain in my neck was still there, but it wasn’t as bad.  We tried to invite Anna get lunch – Hisboss said he was buying because the bike had been loaned.  I had a conversation with her on the phone while I sat with my back to her bedroom door.  At a certain point, Hisboss yelled out something in ebonics and all decency was lost.

Her Jason came out a little later.  I’d just made a big pile of my two comforters and two pillows.  He was without shirt.  I said, “Shower time?”  He said, “Or something.”  He went into the bathroom and closed the door.  I plopped down on my pile and bounced off it, slamming by body in the wall outside the bathroom.  It was all too much, and I excused myself to the balcony, where I said to Hisboss: “I’m happy.”

We rode away to Gordito’s where we had some Mexican fair, which I loved, personally.  During lunch I got a call from Colleen, working with Nicki Bluhm.  It was regarding borrowing gear for the evening.  I worked out what I could.

Hisboss and I rode through Ladd’s Addition and I showed him a rose garden.  We rode to my trunk and got some supplies.  We called Alison and tried to arrange a meet, but only left gay Hisboss messages with lines like, “Bryan’s tickling me behind me knee,” and, “We’re going downtown, Julie Brown.”

We crossed the Hawthorne Bridge and hung around in Waterfront Park.  I laid in some goose shit, and we filmed it being washed off with a Benson Bubbler.  Not much was happening, and after a brief layabout, I rode for Mississippi.

I saw Jeremy Messersmith in.  I recalled doing a show for him at Berbati’s Pan, and he and his band all were great.  The Lumineers loaded in and I tried to get the scoop on their drums and bass rig.  I called Nicki Bluhm (Colleen gave her number) and told her that drums were available but everyone was using D.I. for their bass.  I told everyone it was going to be an M.O.D. settle and that I’d be leaving around 10:15.  Everyone playing was a pleasure to all the senses.

This girl Lauren was playing with The Lumineers.  She had played violin with Celilo the previous Tuesday, and I knew she’d be back.  I had a fun time talking with her.  I also had a fun time talking with Neyla of The Lumineers, who had gotten an education degree in Denver, and had declined a job offer to be a high school teacher in order to tour with The Lumineers.

Everyone was lovely, and I would have loved to have hung out.  But And And And was playing at PDX Pop Now, and I’d been told Tyler would be joining them for the last time.  That didn’t happen.  I’ll be pondering whether it was a bad choice for a good share of the summer.

I biked over hurriedly and got there an hour early, which pissed me off.  I supposed I should have paid attention to the schedule.  I don’t even remember who was playing, and I don’t care (third to last band of Friday night).  It was some ambient music I wandered to.

I saw Nick and Becca and they got a burrito.  I was tickled that Nick modeled his haircut after the haircut he had given me because of the Joe Strummer intentions in it.  I ran into Jason and Corwin.  I ran into Max, which was nice.  And Alison was around, which was spongy, but it got sorted out.  She met Jon of And And And, without knowing he was in the band (he quickly asked me not to say), and Hisboss in Hisboss form.

And And And’s set was great.  The crowd tossed my salad, which is always a pleasure.  It was spacey without Tyler.  All the extra reverb guitar gave some bits a weird interstellar bend, which worked well here and not well there.  “I Will Still Break Your Heart” sounded beautiful, giant, crushing, depressing, for instance,  while “You Can’t Hide” needs harmonica, for instance.  I thought it was very beautiful overall.  Matt had expressed his doubts over how they’ll progress without Tyler.  I hope he’s wrong.  Nathan’s songwriting has always meant more to me on a very personal level, and I think he can tow the line if people remain loyal to his songs and the name.  I wasn’t sure what I would feel until my assurance during the set.  Nathan gave me a wink in the middle of a song, and I rolled.  We’ve both come a year round.

After the set, Hisboss and I went to the carts where Cyrus hooked us up with free vegan poutine and drinks.  After, we got Wiffies.  I think Hisboss was thoroughly impressed with it all, and I was feeling pretty high myself.  Hisboss told me about Anders Behring Breivik’s mass murder in Norway – he’d just found out.

It was a small tragedy getting into Anna’s, but we did, and we slept.  When I awoke, I found out Amy Winehouse was dead.

–for Friday July 22nd, 2011

Hostin’

July 26, 2011

I awoke at Kaila’s with a crick in my neck worse than I’d ever felt.  I could barely check my blind spots.  We gathered ourselves up and made our drive back into town.  After some waffling, we settled on eating at Hungry Tiger Too.  It seemed monumental for Hisboss.  He got five vegan buffalo wings, a cup of tomato soup, and vegan chicken & waffles.  He got a little of my quesadilla.  Kaila had meaty biscuits and gravy.

There was more waffling about who was going where.  I acquiesced on driving Kaila to work, though I didn’t see it coming.  We had to go to Anna’s to get her bike, but we ended up just picking her up to deliver a package (with the intent to return for the bike, which we did).  We all dropped Kaila off then went to the FedEx on Broadway.

While she was inside, Hisboss and I sat around parked illegally.  We tried pushing the car into a parking spot, but someone actually driving beat us to it.  Eventually a Kinko’s employee told us to move into the neighboring lot.  I did so and we sat on the roof of my car blasting Christian Rock while Hisboss showed me some weird Japanese sex line drawing art.

We drove back to Anna’s, parking on 12th and Salmon.  I intended on not moving the car until we left town, and succeeded.  We got the bike and Anna pretty much invited us to stay the night when the time came.  Hisboss and I walked to Ian’s to get my bike.  We ran into two people I knew (Stephen P. and Tony), which I shrugged about.  We talked about Tree Of Life.  I defended it because I can.

We parted ways and I biked to Mississippi (making a pit stop at Fred Meyer).  I set up the show for Echo Helstrom (who had arrived an hour early).  Goldenboy and Ravishers also played – I don’t remember either much.  I recall one member of Goldenboy seemed rather drunk at the settle and it was hard to get down to brass tax.

The pre-sale was rock bottom so I called Stephanie and told her she needn’t come in.  I worked the door and had a talk with Nick, who was helping out Echo.  We had this talk about Tolstoy and Dostoevsky and a book on God he was reading.  It was all a little uncomfortable, because I didn’t want to offend him if he had any particular beliefs.  He also kept talking about how they do things differently in big venues, which made me feel insecure about my own job performance.

I got done a little late and met Hisboss with Anna and her Jason at Ladd’s Inn.  Hisboss had some donuts for me, which I scarfed.  We went to Anna’s and she set us up in a loft, then went to bed with her Jason.

–for Thursday July 21st, 2011

Liza

July 23, 2011

This is apparently a homegrown supervillain named Greyhound. Apparently he's a gambler...

The Greyhound was an hour late so I slept on the station floor.  It was freezing.

Finally the bus arrived, Hisboss appeared first, followed by Steve.  I made the Hisbus joke, the Sex Bus joke, the Pissboss joke, and weird, warm, vegetarian food was nibbled.  Steve left all too quick.

Hisboss and I left the station.  I had no plans whatsoever.  He requested first and foremost: a bed.  We got my bike and got on the Max to PSU.  I showed him a few things as we rolled by, and he loved Bryan’s Tour Of Portland.  We got to Cramer, went to the 4th floor and I laid him down.

At noon, he killed the weird food and learned that Portland was the Strip Club Capitol Of The World, thanks in part to the broken-legged douchebag randomly sitting near us.  We went for the food carts and I got a tofu burrito from Chopollo.  He was more adventurous, wiser, and he got an awesome burrito from the vegan BBQ cart owned by the Ridabocks.  Hisboss gave me a sip of Arnie Palmer and told me about California.

He got accepted to David Mamet’s acting school and needed a copy place to send some information.  I hooked up the one on Broadway and there I learned what Hisboss was.  We hopped the 15 and Sareesha called.  We made plans to meet up after we dropped Ian’s luggage off in my trunk.

After stopping at the car (At Ian’s, naturally), we walked to the vegan mall on Stark.  We schmoozed and I ate a vegan Charlie Brown, which I was hoping would be like a peanut butter brownie, but was not.  We went to Voodoo and got some free vegan pastries.  Then we parted ways with Sareesha (I probably pissed her off at the last possible second) and went back to my car.

First thing we did driving was get some gas.  I got Hisboss to pitch in for the Seattle trip – planning on driving as little as possible between then (Wednesday) and our purported date of departure (Monday).  We stopped into Goodwill and I found no shoes.

I showed him the Jesus Camp and Hisboss took a picture of the Jesus Gymnasium, which led to some dumbass yelling across the street at us accusing us of taking his picture.  We talked him down from the ledge of self-flattery.  We walked up to the Apostolic Faith Church and I said we should walk in saying we heard it was “the church of man-love.”  Hisboss said he’d back me up every step of the way.  …The doors were locked.

I showed Hisboss my old house then we drove downtown to Hounds Of Love and parked near the river.  I took him up to Portland City Grill and we viewed the city from above, and took a piss.  We went to whole foods looking for an Ear Candle and got directed to some spot on 24th and W Burnside.  Hisboss got it the next day.

We met Kaila at Darcelle XV and were treated to a show of drag queens lip syncing and Darcelle bombing at stand up.  It was something to behold – I even got to put a dollar bill in Darcelle’s G-Stringed – assless chaps – cowboy dud getup.  After the show, Liza Minnelli hit on me hard.  I made the mistake of saying Hisboss wasn’t special enough, which led Liza to gun harder.  We all walked away feeling a little more alone than when we entered.

We slept at Kaila’s

–for Wednesday July 20th, 2011

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July 23, 2011

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